Hello, Neku part 6

Neku had thought a lot about his feelings over the past few weeks. His inner world had changed, and his outer world was the same. In his life he had never thought much about love, or relationships at all, until entering the UG. Now he tried to process the information that someone loved him aside from his parents. The place where Joshua’s fingers had brushed again his cheek tingled. It was a good feeling, but for some reason it made his chest hurt.

“Why?” Neku finally choked out. His mind was numb, and he couldn’t think of what else to say.

“Why do I love you?” Joshua looked at him bewilderedly, the expression of confusion alien on his face. “That, I don’t know. It’s not a choice, really, therefore it cannot be rationalized.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Neku’s mind was reeling. He wanted to know why his heart was racing, why his eyes burned with tears, and why he wanted so badly for Joshua to say it again.

“Then I’m afraid I can’t answer you.” Joshua searched Neku’s face. He could feel the anger and despair. “Such an unharmonious soul…” He said to himself. Then he laid a hand aside Neku’s face. Neku flinched at first, tensing up against the contact. Neku tightly closed his eyes, trying desperately to pull himself from the downward spiral. “I have to go, dearest Neku, but if you need me you know where to find me.”

“Don’t-“ Neku cried out, but it was too late, Joshua was gone again. “DAMMIT!” Neku screamed, kicking the nearest trash can over. ‘That bastard, he says he loves me, then he leaves! What the hell am I supposed to do?!’ Neku’s breathing was labored with his sudden outburst, but he felt as if he was barely breathing at all. The pain in his chest was overwhelming. He decided what he needed was to go home and sleep, and hopefully awaken to find the whole thing a bad dream.

Joshua did not alight as one might expect someone arriving from nowhere to do. Changing frequency didn’t work like that, he simply had to focus and he would find himself in the UG again, in the same place, but a different plane. It was not as if Joshua could only view the plane he was on, but none the less he was surprised when he found someone waiting for him.

“Heh heh, real smooth, oh mighty composer.” A voice laughed from the shadows.

“Eavesdropping on your superiors, Kariya?” Joshua turned his eyes to the darkened alley. “Not a particularly good way to get promoted.”

“Ha, but a lot more fun.” Kariya stepped out of the alley, a smug look and a lollipop on his lips. “So, you actually have feelings for your little boy-toy, huh?” Kariya watched interestedly as Neku had his melt down.

“Yes, I’m as surprised as you, I assure.” Joshua turned his back, pretending he could not see the pain he had caused. “The price I pay for involvement.”

“Yeah, you sure have become a lot more involved lately. In fact, I’d never even met you in person before.” Kariya smiled. “Now though, without your go-to-guy you’ve been forced to come down and order us yourself, huh?”

“Forced isn’t the correct term.” Joshua smirked, glad to have some banter to get his mind off things. “I could have chosen any of you reapers to become the next Conductor.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, I’d have said no.” Kariya replied smugly.

“I know, Kariya, but I could have forced my hand upon you. I, however, have other plans for my next conductor.” Joshua smirked.

“Y’know that Hanekoma guy would make a great conductor.” Kariya pointed his lollipop toward Cat street.

“Mr. Hanekoma holds a position that you could not begin to understand, and no, he would not make a good conductor.” Joshua chuckled. “In fact, I think he’d be terrible at it.”

“Whatever you say boss. So if it’s not the H-man it must be your little boyfriend.” Kariya moved aside, though it was not necessary to let a very disgruntled, and oblivious Neku passed him.

“Yes.” Joshua watched Neku’s descent down the stairs. “He posses the necessary qualities to be a conductor, the best ones.”

“Do tell?” Kariya gave an amused glance at Neku. “Is one of those requirements a great ass?” He joked.

“Ha ha, no that is a bonus.” Joshua retorted. “Neku is very powerful, perhaps more so than any other reaper. His soul is constantly in conflict with his body and surroundings, either being far too ahead, or miles behind. It causes him to dream and create goals for balance, that makes his wielding of psychs stronger. I have further cultivated this imbalance. It is this discord within himself that causes him to seek balance, that is why he is the perfect new conductor.”

“Ha, he’s good because he’s a nervous wreck?” Kariya snorted. “That’s a funny quality to cultivate isn’t it?”

“Funny perhaps, but more powerful then you could ever know.” Joshua felt it again, the twinge of guilt about what he was doing to Neku. “That is why he must believe I love him. No emotion is better for causing discord, confusion, and fantasy than love. He’s already grown more powerful from it.”

“Oh? So that little confession of yours…” Kariya smirked.

“Yes, all part of the plan.” Joshua nodded.

“Ouch, that’s cold.” Kariya said in such a way that implied he thought the whole situation was hilarious. “Look at the time, I have a certain pink-haired maiden to meet for coffee. Have a good one.” With that Kariya disappeared.

‘It’s part of the plan.’ Joshua sighed. ‘I have to finish what I’ve started, but still…’ Joshua took a deep breathe of the night air, cool, yet stagnant with the smells of urbanization. ‘I may actually be falling in love, and if I am, than Neku is more danger than he is worth.’